Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Post 51...Doing Nothing for Everything

I never knew how hard it would be to do nothing! Back when I was working, the idea of staying home all day sounded like heaven! It seemed like it would be a dream to spend each day wrapped in blankets, resting next to the fire, chatting with my husband over instant messenger while he's at work, as I sit reading, knitting, or watching movies all day long. And although it is very relaxing, it comes with its limitations. It has been such a challenge not being able to go for long walks during the day, or even pick up a gallon of milk because it's too heavy for me to lift right now. I can't even dance around the house as I get dressed in the morning while blaring my music. But as much as it can be a pain, it doesn't even come close to the pain of losing a child. So going against everything I've ever been taught about being active to stay healthy, I will gladly keep my butt rooted to the couch if it means it ensures the safety of my baby.

One thing that I think will really help me through all this will be getting a better couch. The couch we currently have is this rickety old thing that use to belong to my parents. The springs are so shot and the padding is worn thin. When I sit down on it, I can hear the groan and crunch of the wire springs as my back settles into the hard wooden frame of the couch making it near impossible to get comfortable. After spending only a couple weeks on this damn couch, my back is already in so much discomfort! I swear it feels like my back is locking in the middle and is bruised on the sides. I've tried sitting in the big bean bag chair we have, but because it's so soft, my back just rounds in it, causing more pain in my lower back without the proper support. And we've tried stacking pillows on the couch to simulate the missing padding. It helps a little, but after a day of sitting, my body aches from head to hips. So far, the only comfortable position I have been able to find has been laying on the floor with my pregnancy body pillow, but even after a few hours of that, my hips start to ache from pressing into the hard floor.

A few days ago, my husband came home to see me crying like a baby over my discomfort as I laid on the floor. I wanted so badly to just go for a long walk and stretch out any aches and pains. I never knew it would be so hard to just sit around all day. How do so many people do it? Anyway, as I laid there, blubbering away in a hormonal fuss over my aching back, my husband gently wiped away my tears, propped me up with more pillows, and cradled me from behind. It was the most comfortable I had felt in days. The in-laws have promised to give us their old leather couch and reclining chair once they get their new one. But for now, I lay on the floor counting the days until that happens.

My husband has been immensely helpful through all this. Each day, he talks to me all day long on instant messenger while he's at work (when he's available of course). Then, when he gets home, he takes care of all the dishes, the laundry, taking out the trash, refilling the firewood bin, everything! And after all that, he makes us dinner! He even does the grocery shopping on his way home if we need anything. It's so amazing that he does all this and more with a smile on his face and without a single complaint. And when he's done with everything, he cuddles up next to me, rubs my tummy, kisses me, and says that it's all worth it. My love and appreciation for him is now overflowing! I couldn't do this without him, and I consider myself so lucky to be with such a wonderful man. No greater husband exists.

...and boy does that make it harder to be abstinent right now!....

So far my symptoms have been fairly mild. I have hardly had any nausea compared to the last pregnancy but it still is fairly early on. It comes and goes, but since I keep snacking throughout the day, I think it has helped keep the nausea at a minimum (although I'm feeling it more today so maybe it's just a matter of time before it really kicks in). My breasts have been sore from time to time but that has settled down for now. I keep getting dizzy spells when I stand, and I have been falling asleep earlier and earlier these days too. I have had some mild cramping from time to time, more of that pulling feeling. But it's hard to say if that's from things stretching out down there or from pent up energy if you catch my drift. Also, my tummy has already popped a little under my belly button. I've heard before that in your second pregnancy women "pop" sooner, but since this is my second first pregnancy, I wasn't sure if it would apply. But I guess it does.

For now, I continue to learn how to handle life on my booty, figuring out how to stay healthy and in shape, how to keep myself entertained, and how to stay positive. I'm eating walnuts each day to get adequate amounts of protein and omega-3 fatty acids that help stimulate brain and heart health for me and the baby. I'm still taking my prenatal so I can continue to get a healthy amount of folic acid in my diet (among many other essential nutrients) which has been linked to decreasing chances of any neural tube defects in the baby as well as the chance of miscarriage. And of course, I haven't had a drop of caffeine or alcohol! I am trying to do everything I can to ensure Sunshine is sticking around full term, even if the best thing I can do for him/her right now is to do nothing.

Six more days until we see Sunshine for the first time! Hang in there little one. You're doing great!

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