Sunday, October 31, 2010

Post 39...Two positive makes me too positive

I might be setting myself up here for disappointment but honestly, I am seriously thinking I could be pregnant. For starters, there has still been no sign of Aunt Flow showing up. I have had very mild cramping from time to time but it's been hardly noticeable but by breasts have still been awfully achy. They aren't so much sore to the touch but they ache deep down. And maybe I'm just seeing things but I swear they look slightly bigger. Also, TMI warning: my nipples look very dark pink. I had this last time I was pregnant too. I don't know if it's more of a result of the areolas getting darker (it's so hard to see the subtle color difference of my areolas. At times they look like they could  be darker, but at second glance, it's hard not to feel like I'm just seeing things.) but at any rate my nipples look very bright pink/red.

The other TMI thing has been my cervical mucus (I've got to remind myself I wanted to document EVERYTHING that I'm experiencing we go!). Normally at this time of my cycle, like most women, the cervical mucus dries out around the time right before menstruation begins. Well not this time. I have had a lot of creamy white cervical mucus with the texture of lotion. It has been a lot more noticeable these past few days in particular.

I'm still feeling really tired throughout the day. It feels like I can't get enough sleep! I wake up from a full 8-9 hours of sleep and I feel like I could sleep more. My daily walks seem to zap me of whatever energy I have left, and by the evening time, I'm nearly crashing on the couch!

Lastly, the other "symptom" I have been feeling lately is forgetfulness. Little things here and there seem to be escaping my mind. This last week I went to check the mail. We have a key for our mailbox and so I unlocked the box, grabbed the mail, and then went on my merry way. What I didn't realize until hours later after my walk to the store and back was that I left my keys still dangling in our open mailbox the entire time! I didn't even realize it until I went to unlock the apartment door and noticed that my keys weren't in my purse! All week I keep forgetting things here and there. And whether it's a sign of pregnancy (I know that "pregnancy brain" is a real thing. I certainly had it the last time I was pregnant!) or perhaps my brain is just turning into mush since I don't have a job or school anymore to keep it sharp. Either way, it's resulted to me leaving post-it notes all over the place to remind me of all the little things. Although my neighbors might think I'm crazy if I leave a post-it on the mailbox that reads: remember keys!!!

My only other inspiration for hope was last night's dream. Once again I dreamt about pregnancy this month, but this time the message was unmistakable! I dreamt that I had taken two pregnancy tests, each on a different day, and both turned out positive! The first test I took had only a faint positive, but the second test was as bold as ever. I remember rubbing my tummy and talking excitedly with my friends about it in the dream. I kept repeating that I was pregnant, looking at my tummy and saying "there's a little baby growing in there!" When I woke up, the feeling remained. And who knows. With any luck, maybe there is a little baby growing in there.

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