Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Post 33...Champagne and Caviar Wishes

Guess what?....I'm gonna talk about my period again! Trust me, I'm just as anxious as you are for me to be pregnant so we don't have to talk about my menstruation anymore. Anyway, back onto the lovely subject; when I started on Saturday, everything was normal. Sunday came with some wicked cramps but not the worst I've ever felt before. But on Monday, something happened that has never happened to me ever before; my period practically stopped! It was like someone just turned off the faucet. I still had some spotting, a few heavier moments from time to time, but for the most part, my period came to a screeching halt just two days in! Since then, I had nothing but spotting up until today when it finally decided to stop this ridiculous charade and come to a complete stop all together. At first we of course wondered if it was really a period at all or if perhaps by some miracle we actually got pregnant and this was just some left-over vaginal bleeding that can sometimes happen. But after digging a little deeper into some research, the likely culprit is [drum roll] stress! Of course it is, right? With the up and coming due date for Joey, stress has certainly taken it's toll on my emotions, so it makes sense that it would also affect my cycle. So with everything else going on in my life right now, I decided not to tack on the lingering concerns of possible pregnancy and decided to take this all at face value. It came four days late and was extremely light, but it came none the less. True, my breasts are still achy and I still feel bloated, but that could very well be my broken hormones running a muck in my body. If for any reason I start to get morning sickness or some other symptom that is screaming pregnancy, then I will test. But for now, I'd would confidently say I'm not pregnant.

As for tomorrow, Joey's due date; we've been dreadfully watching this day slowly make it's way towards us and now it's here. We have done what we can to plan a fun and eventful day to keep things light, but of course, we'll bring the travel tissues too. For starters, we will be going to Pike's Place Market in down town Seattle. There we will go to the Steelhead diner to enjoy their famous caviar pie and a shot of vodka to compliment the caviar. From there, we will explore the town, doing whatever looks fun, enjoying the open markets and art of Seattle. Later that evening we will then dine at the top of the Space Needle for dinner, enjoying a glass of rich full wine in the candle light. It will be absolutely decadent! We figured we could take the day off from our normal alcohol restraints and just relax that day. Not only will we be celebrating Joey's life, but we will also be celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary, and 4 years of being together. Although I am sad that we are not pregnant yet, it is nice to spend a day indulging in all the activities I won't be able to do once I am pregnant. Drinks, caviar, rare meat, soft cheeses; I love it! I think it will be good for me to remember the joys of just being us, soaking it in while we can, and realizing that pregnancy isn't something to be rushed. We will get pregnant, but while we're not, there are still plenty of wonderful times to be had. I miss Joey terribly, but I can't keep going on feeling guilty for continuing my life after his passing. He is a part of us and always will be, and I know that he is okay with us moving forward. Although I couldn't stomach sea food when I was pregnant with him, so he may not agree with the menu on our day of remembrance, I know he'll be happy to see his parents smiling and laughing again.

So here's to our son, our marriage, and to a future full of Sunshine.

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