It was Friday the 13th, a week ago today, and a suspicion grew in my husband and I. Rather than racap the conversation, I'm going to take the lazy man's route and copy-paste the conversation we had on instant message. It's long, but it's worth the read.....
Me: so...ya know how I was talking last night about my curiosity with my body
Me: and how it's acting odd
Joe: yup :)
Me: I was trying to look up things that could explain my CM
Joe: you're showing signs
Me: Around the time of implantation many women experience a sudden increase in cervical fluid again and there even may be some pink or brownish tint to some of the cervical mucus. This is thought to be a bit of blood that is caused by the implantation of the egg in the lining of the uterus. After this initial increase in cervical mucus and a slight tint pink the experience of each woman varies widely. Or...I could be ovulating and it just has leftover blood from last time. At least that's just a thought.
Me: but it is odd that it's so much and that I had that on day of spotting shortly after we had unprotected funness. And, if going off of what I think my schedule should be, this should be a pre week. Which means, I would be done ovulating and should be drying out. But instead I'm getting pinkish massive cm. /shrugs/ What are your thoughts. Plus, just the fact that I've been braking out exceptionally bad again like when I was Prego but I might just be reading into things too much. idk
Joe: you're exhibiting signs. that's my thought
Me: you think they are signs? I don't want my emotions to rule it so I'm trying to be a rational as possible and really look at it with an open mind
Joe: it could be either way like you said. That's all I’ve got
Me: you're not leaning one way or another? Just watch...leave it to me to get pregnant the one time I say "I’m not gonna let worry rule me" and I got drunk not knowing I could be pregnant again. It seems like something my body would do: get pregnant the one time I decide to throw caution to the wind and have a few drinks and right when I quit my job! It would already be a trouble maker child!
Joe: hah, maybe :) But like I said last night, either way, doesn't matter. We've got this.
Me: I know. I would just like to know for sure before I start planning for another. Idk. I'm just wondering. It could also be that my cycle is off again and this is just my ovulating time. /shrugs. I have no idea. You haven't had any dreams lately that involve this, have you?
Joe: nope no prego dreams :)
Me: kk. I trust your intuition more than mine
Joe: Fair enough. But I know we don't need to worry :)
Me: I’m probably not, right?
Me: so I was reading back on my preparing for pickle blog, reading up on January to see if I had felt symptoms early (even though, at the time, I was trying to convince myself they weren't symptoms)
Me: and what I reported was: headaches, mild on and off cramping through the month, some bloating, and feeling drop dead tired. At the time, I thought it was work stress. That's what I kept excusing it as. That, and being sick. It seemed like I was feeling stuff as early as mid cycle, similarly to now. But again, idk if I am or not. Could be anything
Joe: yup could be anything
Me: am I reading into it too much?
Joe: tiny, you know your body best. If it is weird it's weird
Me: not really /giggle, I think you know it better. It's always weird. Me and my body haven't quite worked out our partnership yet. We've been fighting for years. I keep trying to make it shrink and it just fights back with blemishes and bloating ;)
“I forgot to mention that, a couple days ago I had some pink spotting the morning I work up after a night of rigorous baby dancing. I doubt it's implantation spotting since it's way to early for me to be ovulating. More than likely it was just some remainders of my cycle finishing up. But still the thought crossed my mind. But I want to try my best not to read into anything too much and psyche my body into giving false signs.” I posted this the month we conceived!
Me: I totally didn't even remember I spotted last time oh bugger! Now I'm going to go an psych myself out! >_<
Joe: /kiss Joe: its ok :)
Me: I know Me: but it really makes me wonder after reading that. "dealing with headaches nearly every day! WTF?!"
Joe: :) /kiss
Me: do you really think I could be?
Joe: could be
Me: or not really?
Joe: could be could be
Me: *insert Charlie brown 'augh' here*
Me: :) I'm really not upset. Just extremely curious. Your mother would flip ya know
Joe: we would flip!
Me: very much so. when was it we had our dinks? last Thursday Friday and Saturday right?
Joe: last Saturday, yeah
Me: and it was Friday I had some spotting? yeah?
Joe: and we did baby dancing prior right? yeah
Me: after we did stuff. we did BD that night. it was Friday cause I spent Thursday crying. first night drinking I got all emotional. second night I got randy. third night Katie and I were tipsy
Joe: but we did the no cover BD on like Monday and Tuesday right?
Me: I thought we did it only one other time earlier that week. or did we do it three times with no cover? oh, it was twice in one day right after my cycle ended on like Monday. cause I said if we already did it that day, no harm in doing it again. >_<>Joe: are
Me: I kinda do to but if we're not, that's okay. No getting sad right? cause then it's just more time to prepare
Me: and if we are...then...this baby is already like us too much, being stubborn and coming in on his own time. right when I give notice, right when I give into a few nights of drinks! here I was worrying about pickling pickle and now sunshine might be! lol
Me: well, I guess no drinks for me right now, and I'll switch to Tylenol to be safe. keep up on water and then wait it out :]
Joe: yup yup :)
Me: oh boy
Joe: oh boy indeed
Me: after reading my blog...I'm seriously wondering. /looks down at my tummy. pat pat pat, hello? anyone there?
Joe: haha. it'd be bad if there was knocking back
Me: lol, that would be weird. i have no clue how we'd pull it off, but we'd make it work. that's all I know. somehow in some way, we'd make it work
Joe: absolutely :)
Me: this isn't going to distract you from work is it?
Joe: nope. I don't want to get too excited, but I'm definitely only feeling excitement.
Me: me too :D this could be crazy. so is this what it's like for most people?
Joe: lol yeah
Me: could we really be?..../squeal, it's such a crazy thought. idk what we'd do. freak out I guess and then bring in the family for reinforcements and help
Me: you really think we are? it's been a growing suspicion of mine this past week. but I didn't want to read into things too much
Joe: /kiss its all good
Me: yeah but I'm asking...do you honestly think we are?
Me: ....me too
Joe: /kiss :D
Me: /kiss. your swimmers are just too good
Joe: I know its a silly question, but are you ok with that?
Me: I am. Scared as all hell and I might get emotional if it really is true, but how could I not be happy? This is Joey's gift to us. and if it just happens this way, then...it's meant to be. it's going to happen
Joe: well I know we were planning on waiting until after Joey's due date....
Me: and I will love it. Even if it scares the living hell outta me. I know. but maybe Joey had other plans :J
Me: perhaps our kids like to just march to the beat of their own drum. no matter how much we try to plan, things just go the way they want to. why fight it?
Joe: fair enough
Me: If we are, I'll still find a way to make it Joey’s bday and honor him
Joe: I mean, I thought about the whole Joey’s due date, but I couldn't help but smile and be excited if this what our future is
Me: and hey, if I'm honoring him by carrying the gift he gave us, then that's not too bad either
Joe: it'll be a sad day, but I almost think less so if we were to be pregnant.
Me: yeah...I kinda feel the same too