Budget...it's practically a curse word. Since I was a kid, I remember hearing the word hissing through my parent's teeth as they sat down at the computer, a mountain of receipts stacked in front of them. Budget always meant, "how deep in debt are we?" and "where can we trim some costs so we don't end up in the red by the end of the month?". Now, more than ever before, my husband and I are starting to feel the sting of the dreaded budget. Is this what it means to be an adult?...
When we were preparing for Pickle, we had so meticulously planned out our savings, calculating how much income we needed to keep us a float while I was out for maternity leave. Things were going so well, in fact, that it was possible I could leave work months early before even giving birth. But, of course, things didn't go as planned. Now, we find ourselves paying for the cost of a delivery without a happy end to show for it and our savings left in shambles. With time off from work, my hours being cut, rent going up with our lease renewal, and hospital bills...how on earth are we supposed to salvage any kind of savings to try again for another baby? Not to mention, now we'll not only have to save enough for me to be out a year with the baby, but an additional 6 months for me to be out after I have my cerclage put in at the start of my second trimester! So we have more bills, less income, and we need to somehow save more. At this point, it feels like we'll have to wait for another year before trying! It boggles my mind how so many people can afford to have babies. I guess it's the curse of being middle class. Upper class can afford it with their higher income. Lower class is eligible for financial assistance. But middle class is too "rich" for assistance and too poor to afford it on their own. It seems like middle class ends up paying more in the long run.
Anyway, I'm starting to get on my soapbox. Hopefully we'll find a way to make things work. If I can get that new job at Google, then that would help for sure. But I don't want to factor that in until I get the job for sure. I'm hoping we don't have to postpone trying to conceive just because of money, but I also don't want to give birth only to go right back to work and just shove my kid into some daycare.
So there you have it. Planned parenthood = planned poverty. I have no idea how we'll afford twice the amount of medical bills then the average parent all while butting heads with the complications that come from being middle class.
When will the clouds break and bring us a little Sunshine?
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